Bugs on My Windshield

Earlier this week, I was driving up to Iowa for a visit.  It was a 4 hour and 15 minute drive, as usual.  I listened to a bit of music, made a few phone calls, and let my mind wander a bit.  Suddenly, I was brought back to reality by the continuous "thwacks" and "thuds" that my windshield was being bombarded with.  It was getting increasingly difficult to see.  No, it wasn't rain or hail, nor was it cats and dogs.  It was that ever-present population of bugs that hovers, flies, and generally annoys us all.

I realized that my windshield resembled a crime scene with multiple victims of various sizes, shapes, and colors and I was the only witness to this chaotic scene.  Thank goodness I didn't have to write THAT report, because I had no way of identifying my victims or making any sort of notification to next of kin. 

I almost felt like I was at an autopsy.  I knew their exact time and mode of death and was somewhat privy to what they ate last.  I know they hit my windshield at 73 mph (my speed).  It was a MESS!!The questions I will never know the answers to are things like where they were going or coming from; shopping?  If so, where were their bags?  How did they carry their bags?  What do bugs shop for?  Or, were they going to visit relatives in the next block, mile, or county?  I wonder if the relatives are still waiting. 

Well, we've all heard the saying about "being that fly on the wall", right?  I think everybody has wanted to be that fly at one time or another, but you never hear "Boy, I'd sure like to be the bug on that windshield". 

Of course, there's also the joke about what was the last thing that went through their minds?  Did their lives flash before their eyes?  Did they see it coming?  Did they scream?  I don't know the answers to the last three questions, but I do know the one to the first question - their ass.

I was intrigued by the multitude of colors on my windshield as well.  There were whites, yellows, oranges, blacks, reds, and a few shades of purple as well.  It almost looked like my son had had a field day on my windshield with finger paints. 

I'm sure you're wondering why in the world I was thinking such morose thoughts while driving.  Well, talking to myself only works for so long.  The thought also crossed my mind that I don't have to deal with the slow-down in traffic for the rubberneckers.  You know, the ones that see a police car on the side of the road with its lights on, due to a car accident, and feel they have to slow down to see what's happening.  It's almost like they would prefer for the officer to drag the body over to them, so they can see the blood and gore, and then mosey on their merry little way.  Drives me NUTS!!

Well, I know that the only thing that will get all of these bugs off my windshield is a good rain, so please, pray for rain....CUZ I CAN'T SEE!!

With Condolences,

My Father's Daughter